Every parent wants a close, meaningful relationship with their adult children, but sometimes life just gets in the way. If a divorce, traumatic event, or painful history has affected your relationship with your children, a family counseling professional may be able to help. But what if your children refuse to talk to you at all? The tips below will help parents cope with estrangement from their children, manage their feelings, and keep hope alive.

3 Tips for Estranged Parents

1. Reach Out

Even if your kids have cut you out of their lives, let them know that the door is still open and you would like to reconnect. Send occasional warm emails, birthday cards, and other tokens to show your child that you haven’t given up on the relationship. However, if they’ve specifically asked that you stop trying to contact them, you should respect those wishes, as painful as that may be.

2. Listen With an Open Mind

If you do get an opportunity to speak to your child, try not to get defensive when discussing why your relationship broke down. Creating an environment where your child can express their thoughts and perceptions without sparking a fight can be an important first step in rebuilding your relationship. If they’re willing, you might see if they will go to family counseling with you to work through the mistakes of the past and start moving forward.

3. Focus on Yourself

As badly as you may want to reconnect with your child, it won’t be possible until they’re ready. Until then, focus on evolving as an individual and dealing with any issues you might have that could have led to the estrangement. Even if your child doesn’t want to go to counseling with you, seeing a therapist can help you move on and start working through your anger, sadness, and resentment.

Our family can be some of the most important relationships in our lives, but that bond doesn’t always come easily. For over 20 years, the family counseling professionals at Laurie Burns LCSW-R CGP have helped people throughout Rochester, NY, deal with extremely difficult situations, from estranged children to contentious divorces. Visit their website to learn more about the benefits of therapy, or call (585) 734-6826 to make an appointment.