Here are some tips on how to find common ground in your home search:

1. Research, research, research: you can do this from your sofa watching HGTV. Love it or List It, House Hunters, Property Brothers. This is a great time to suss out your spouse’s style, like-to-haves and must-haves.

2. The Psychology- As a buyer’s agent, I frequently facilitate a conversation or vetting about what is critical to each spouse. As in all aspects of a marriage, it is important for each spouse to feel heard (and thus validated). For matrimonial harmony, it is important to make sure that each spouse feels that their needs/wants are considered. In order to keep your buyers realistic, this is the time that I remind my buyers that there is no such thing as a perfect house. It is exceedingly rare to get everything on your must have list!

3. The Compromise: As a buyer’s agent, I can facilitate a conversation on compromise- perhaps he loves the floor plan but she hates the granite in the kitchen. The floor plan can’t be changed but the granite can. Perhaps changing the granite goes on the five year plan of improvements.

4. Follow the passion: Realtor.com provides an example of a passion that most couples have in common: typically both sexes LOVE outdoor living space. Both men and women identified this feature as a top attribute in a home. In general, women’s hearts tended to be set a-flutter by open floor plans, great curb appeal, and appliances and fixtures, while men said they swooned over good garage space, curb appeal. (This mom of three’s heart is set aflutter by a fabulous, well-appointed mudroom, but I digress.) Regardless of what the passion is, try to fulfill the dream of the true passion. Ideally there will be some overlap of what makes their hearts skip a beat in the inventory available for sale!

5. When in doubt, prioritize: Realtor.com reports that men and women have “home crushes.” However, men were more likely than women to move from one home crush to another. Thirty-six percent of men surveyed say they find a new house crush weekly, compared to 29 percent of women. Frequently the home crush will be out of one’s price range. This is the time that a good buyer’s agent will say “okay, that is what you want. Here is what you can have in your price range.”