If you’re planning on filing for divorce, it’s natural to worry about telling the children. While the proceedings—and their outcome—will inevitably affect your kids, there are ways to gently break the news, reducing stress on the whole family. If you’re unsure how to tell your children about the divorce, you will find several tips for doing so below. 

Do:

Present a united front. 

Ideally, both you and your spouse should tell the children together. This will demonstrate your commitment to remaining a family, despite the changing dynamic.

In that same vein, try to break the news to all your kids at the same time. Telling the older children first will put an unnecessary burden on them until you tell your younger kids.

Determine answers to their most likely questions in advance. 

If your children are of school age, they’ll probably want to know whether they’ll have to move out of the district. They may also wonder which of you will remain in the family home and what their everyday life will look like moving forward.

Try to anticipate the kinds of questions they’ll ask and discuss them with your spouse and attorney in advance so you can give the kids at least some definitive answers during the discussion. 

Don’t:

Give them false hope. 

Although your children don’t need to know all the details of the split, they still deserve the truth to some degree. For example, if they ask whether they’ll have to move and you’ve already decided that neither of you will keep the family home, answer them honestly. Likewise, don’t lead them to believe you might get back together someday if you’re certain you won’t. 

Badmouth each other in front of them. 

It’s entirely possible for bad spouses to be good parents. And in most cases, it’s in a child’s best interest to maintain a relationship with both parents. To avoid hurting these potentially tenuous relationships, neither of you should speak badly about the other within earshot of the children.

When you’re ready to proceed with filing for divorce, turn to Lonneman & Associates, PLLC. Located in Elizabethtown, KY, this family law firm has been counseling clients throughout the area since 1981. Their strategic team is well-versed in asset and debt division, spousal maintenance, child custody, and military divorce. They also practice criminal defense and estate planning. To request a free consultation, reach out on their website or call (270) 765-2190.