Fighting Fibro With Laughter

 

by: m.e. nesser

 

            When I was 13, I started having pain in random parts of my body. By college, the symptoms got worse and the night terrors began. At 25, my dad was in a horrific accident, I became pregnant with my first child, and the pain intensified. Three months after giving birth to my son, I found myself pregnant again, and the pain was unbearable. Since then, I have never gone a day without some pain, somewhere. And to make my situation even more interesting, the pain isn’t mutually exclusive.  For some reason, it feels the need to travel to different places in my body so that no parts ever feel neglected. Lucky m.e.

            Over the years, I went to a myriad of doctors. I had numbness in my extremities, so I sought out a neurologist. I had pain in my joints, so I went to an orthopedist. Neither physician could come up with an explanation. I kept going back to my general practitioner; he didn’t know what to do with me. His best answer was to have me try a plethora of medications, which did nothing but cause secondary problems. He suggested I see a nutritionist since my diet could have been a contributing factor. The nutritionist told me I had a better diet than she did, and she didn’t charge me for the visit. I did acupuncture for a while, but it was expensive and time consuming. And, even though it relieved some of the symptoms, I still hurt. I went to a slew of chiropractors but discovered that any kind of adjustment or manipulation caused a bizarre inflammatory response that led to immobility and even greater pain. I saw several massage therapists on a regular basis over the years, but the relief was temporary and the service was often very painful.  By 30 years old, I thought I was going crazy.

             In 2000, I got a referral to a rheumatologist. At first she didn’t suspect that I had fibromyalgia because I wasn’t overweight, lethargic, or depressed. Back then, those were the classic symptoms, in addition to inexplicable pain. At this point in my career I was working with my husband in our beauty salon so it was important that I always had my hair, makeup and nails done. This was a blessing. Regardless of how I felt, I always made a point of trying to look good. Having people know how crappy I was feeling wasn’t going to make me feel any better, so I focused on doing whatever I could to look good, put on a happy face and try to make every day a good one. Even to this day, I believe that my sincere gratitude for the good things in my life and a positive outlook have saved me.

 

Testing for fibro is much different than testing for other ailments. All it took was a simple tender point test to determine if I had it or not. The rheumatologist put pressure on eighteen parts of my body with her finger. It was the most obscure test I had ever had. She told me that if eleven of the points were sensitive, then I had it. As it turned out, all eighteen points hurt. In fact, they hurt a lot. That was when she agreed something was definitely wrong with me. More importantly, she sympathized with my plight and didn’t think I was crazy. I can’t tell you how relieved I was.  I knew I wasn’t a hypochondriac and that my pain was real, and it felt so good to put a name on all the weird things that were going on in my body. Unfortunately, she told me that until I experienced legitimate arthritic concerns, there was nothing she could do to help me and insurance would not cover any more visits with her. Once again, I was on my own.

            So now what? I’m told I’ve got this obscure autoimmune disease that doesn’t have a cause or a cure. She didn’t have much to tell me about fibro so I went and bought a few books on the subject. They didn’t offer many more options than I had already tried and I found them to be uninspiring and, at times, dismal. It did feel good to know I wasn’t alone in the world and that other people suffered like I did. So I did what we all do in this day and age – I continued to surf the Internet for everything I could find out about this weird condition I had.

            I can’t even put into words how frustrating it was to have a doctor say that there is no definitive cause or treatment for what I had. Now I was more determined then ever to take control over my health and my future. I needed to start back at the beginning when the pain started. Through a lot of research and introspection, I’ve come up with a few theories of my own. I truly believe that physical, psychological or emotional trauma can trigger the condition. If you’ve noticed throughout this article, I don’t like referring to fibro as a disease because, in reality, it isn’t life threatening. The medications used to deal with the symptoms can cause life-threatening problems, however, but the simple diagnosis of fibromyalgia in itself isn’t fatal. Over the years I’ve suggested to countless people who have been diagnosed with fibro to go back to the time when it started and try to remember what was going on at that point in their lives. You’d be surprised how often a personal tragedy, emotional or physical abuse or even a bad accident was the catalyst.

Although pain has affected my emotional state, I’ve never suffered with depression. On the other hand, I’ve had serious issues with anxiety. Over the years I have learned that working out and being productive in both my personal and professional life can help me deal with the anxiety and the panic attacks much more effectively than any medication ever could. For me, succumbing to a miserable existence is not an option. Life is too damn short to not make the best of every day. In addition, I’ve never wanted pity; it serves no purpose. For as long as I can remember, I have made it impossible for others to know what I was going through. I suffered in silence. But now I’ve decided to share my journey so I can help others learn coping skills and strategies so they can find more joy in their lives. Since it has been difficult to find a publisher for my most recent manuscript called F’ You Fibro, I started a YouTube channel called the same thing, because I really want to offer hope and encouragement to others living in chronic pain.

There were only a few medications twenty years ago that were prescribed to alleviate some of the symptoms I complained about, but they had a lot of side effects that were pretty serious. Death was often a side effect. No thanks. I like being alive. When I was diagnosed, anti-depressants were the most common drugs that were prescribed. I did try them, even though I wasn’t depressed. The outcome? I got depressed and cried a lot. Fortunately, it was temporary. The caveat to having fibro is that you can be hypersensitive to medications, which can make treatment even more difficult. Since prescriptive medications were a bust, I was on my own to deal with the pain, numbness, flu-like symptoms and exhaustion that plagued me. One of the things that made it bearable was the realization that the disease wasn’t life threatening. Around the time of my diagnosis, my sister was undergoing treatment for stage three-breast cancer. She had extensive radiation and chemotherapy after enduring a complicated mastectomy. She could have died. My issues are inconvenient and uncomfortable, but they won’t kill me. That’s an important fact to embrace and something to remind yourself on a daily basis.

            So what has helped me deal with my fibro?  Love, laughter, hard work and writing. When I was in my mid-twenties, I changed careers to work in the salon business with my husband Mark. I love working with him. He has been the most supportive man to me, professionally and personally. I also had three children who have brought me so much joy. When I left teaching, I enrolled in beauty school and learned how to wax. I couldn’t believe how fun it was to rip hair off of women’s bodies. I decided this could be a good service to bring to the Mark & M.E. Salon. I created a specialized technique so that I could perform a Brazilian Wax in less than 10 minutes. Suddenly, I became a ridiculously busy Brazilian Wax Technician. I have to say that finding success in my career made every day that much more bearable.

As I was developing the technique that would help me master my craft, I realized that if I was going to do something to another person that was going to cause him or her pain, I needed to make the experience fast and funny. Fortunately I have a pretty good sense of humor. I love making people feel comfortable when I’m waxing them as much as I want to make the experience fun. I have countless stories about the things clients do or say in the confines of a private wax room. It’s unbelievable how a client’s reaction to getting waxed will provide stories, expressions, and shenanigans that can keep me rambling on for hours at a time. One day it occurred to me that laughter became my way of dealing with the pain I felt during the day.

Several years ago, I started blogging funny stories about my job. I called it Hose Down Your Hoo-Ha, because I thought the name in itself was comical. It made me happy to know that I could make people smile when they woke up in the morning. And since the morning is an extremely painful time for me, it was a great distraction. Lying around unproductively and complaining about my aches and pains was never an option in my mind.  It has been a great way to start my day and it still is. Since writing was so cathartic, I decided to write three nonfiction books about Brazilians. The Happy Hoo-Ha trilogy hasn’t made me much money but it was a lot of fun to write and it made a fair amount of people laugh. Not only has laughter made my life fuller, it has made living with constant pain a lot more bearable. Putting the stories in print has also kept the joy going.

            If you are suffering with chronic pain, think about keeping a journal or writing a blog. It doesn’t have to be about the pain. It can be about anything. Heck, I wrote three books about ripping out pubic hair! Think about a topic that excites or interests you. It could be about butterflies or movie stars. The options are endless! After I finished The Happy Hoo-Ha Trilogy, I started writing an edgy romance series. Not only do I enjoy entertaining people, telling a story has become an important hobby for me. Writing has brought incredible joy to my life. It has been the perfect distraction from the obstacles that I have had to deal with on a daily basis for what seems like forever. So you aren’t a person that likes to write? That’s okay. Find a hobby that makes you happy and make it an important part of your daily routine. The more positivity you can add to your life, the better you will feel.

            Am I tired? Absolutely. Do I have a list of body parts that always hurt? I sure do. Are they life threatening? Nope. Am I letting the fibro win? Not in this lifetime.

 Have a happy day!

 

                                                                                    m.e. nesser

                                                                                    www.menesser.com