Learning about a partner’s infidelity is often a shocking experience. You may feel a mix of strong emotions and it’s common to be unsure about your next steps. If you want to get through this challenging experience together, accept that it may take time and resources like relationship counseling to restore your relationship. However, there is hope. Here are some things you can do to cope with a partner’s infidelity. 

What Can You Do If Your Partner Has Been Unfaithful?

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Chances are that you’ll feel a surge of strong emotions after learning that your partner has been unfaithful. Shock, fear, anxiety, pain, confusion, depression, and anger are all normal, but any emotion that you feel in the wake of this event is valid. Notice your feelings and accept them for what they are. Don’t force yourself to put on a happy face if you feel devastated inside, and give yourself enough time to process the news. 

2. Avoid Revenge

After learning about an affair, you may be flooded with rage. In the heat of the moment, you may be tempted to post something negative about your partner on social media, berate your partner with cruel words, damage their things, or get in touch with the person they’ve been seeing. Revenge may feel satisfactory at the moment, but it’s better to focus on healing and moving forward as soon as you are emotionally able. 

3. Focus On Self-Care 

It’s easy to let yourself go after learning shocking news. You may feel uninterested in eating, exercising, getting out, or spending time with other people. These feelings are normal, but as the shock wears off, it’s important to care for your body. Having a healthy body empowers you to work on healing your heart and mind through relationship counseling and help you work with your partner on rebuilding trust. 

4. Get Help 

After learning about an affair, you’ll have some important decisions to make, like choosing who to share the news with. Depending on your family relationships, you may decide it’s best to keep the information to yourself if you’re concerned about other people’s opinions. If you tell trusted friends, be selective about those you share the news with so that it stays confidential. Above all, remember that you aren’t alone, even if you don’t tell friends or family. Relationship counseling is a great outlet for working through your emotions, and you’ll benefit from sharing in a trustworthy environment. 

There is hope for a relationship to thrive after infidelity. If you need help, get in touch with Laurie Burns LCSW-R CGP in Rochester, NY. She is a professional counselor with more than 20 years of experience in relationship and individual counseling. Schedule an appointment at (585) 734-6826 or see her services online.