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How to Discuss Creating a Will With Your Parent September 1, 2020

Kaimuki, Honolulu
How to Discuss Creating a Will With Your Parent, Honolulu, Hawaii

If you aren’t sure if your elderly parents have a will, it may be time to talk to them about making one. Take the necessary steps to have a fruitful discussion and ensure you don’t appear nosy, greedy, or morbid. Use this guide to help you engage in a productive conversation.

3 Tips for Talking to Your Parents About Making Their Wills

1. Select the Right Setting

When raising this sensitive subject, hold the conversation in a private, comfortable place. Sit in their living room or kitchen to help them feel relaxed—this will make it easier to start the conversation. Choose a time when everyone is rested, like after breakfast or during a mid-morning snack, so each person is alert and can focus on the discussion.

2. Explain Your Motives

willMake it clear you aren’t trying to pry into whether they plan to leave you an inheritance. Emphasize that you want to make sure their wishes are known and will be carried out accordingly when they’re gone. Be prepared with information about local intestate succession and probate laws, so you can tell them what will happen if they don’t have a will.

3. Let Them Lead

Although you’re introducing the topic, allow your parents to lead the discussion. They may tell you they’ve already consulted a lawyer, created a trust, or added due-on-death clauses to their property. If you let them take over, they’re less likely to feel as if you’re pressuring them to act, and it helps the conversation go more smoothly.


When your parents are ready to write their wills, contact the attorneys at Ng & Niebling in Honolulu, HI. These professionals have helped clients across Oahu plan their estates for over 40 years, drafting wills, trusts, and powers of attorney. Call (808) 732-7788 to schedule a free initial consultation.

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