When someone you know loses a loved one, it can be difficult to find the right words to comfort them. At funeral services and wakes, people often make comments intending to lift the spirits of those in mourning. Sometimes, these sentiments can do more harm than good. Learn more about a few remarks to avoid and what you should say instead to express empathy.

3 Comments to Avoid Making to People in Mourning

1. “At least they lived a long time.”

When an elderly loved one passes away, noting that they had a long life does not make the loss less painful for those left behind. Instead of trying to rationalize the loss, share a specific memory that you recall about the deceased person that makes you smile.

2. “Be strong.”

Telling someone to be strong when they have lost a loved one denies their real and raw emotions and may make them feel guilty. Everyone grieves differently, but it’s normal to feel pain or vulnerability.

Instead, make a genuine offer of support. Tell the person who is grieving that you will listen if they want to talk. Other sincere ways of helping include doing their grocery shopping, bringing them a meal, or driving them to an appointment.

3. “I know how you feel.”

Losing a parent, spouse, child, or other loved one is both a shared and personal event. Even if you have experience with a similar loss, saying that you know how someone feels can invalidate their emotions. To acknowledge their grief and express your ability to empathize, say something like, “I am so sorry for your loss. Just know that I care and am here for you.”

If you have lost a loved one and need to plan a funeral service, turn to Leo M. Bean and Sons Funeral Home. This family-owned funeral home has helped grieving families in Rochester, NY, for more than 40 years. These compassionate and skilled funeral directors will assist with every detail, including choosing caskets and final resting places. Whether you want a traditional funeral service or a memorial event, they will guide you through each step of the process. To learn more, call (585) 426-7830 or visit them online.