In both new and established relationships, discussions about money can be challenging. To prevent arguments, many avoid the topic, which can cause financial difficulties down the road. Having different economic philosophies and priorities can also make disputes more common. Learning how to communicate along with couples counseling will make the subject easier to broach. 

How Can Couples Effectively Communicate About Their Finances?

1. Use Active Listening 

Active listening is a skill often taught in couples counseling. It’s common to formulate a response to what your partner is saying as they’re saying it. However, this often leads to an unintentionally defensive reply. During active listening, the listener absorbs what their partner is saying and tries to assume their point of view. Maintaining eye contact or engaging in physical touch will indicate that you’re invested in what they’re saying and how they feel. 

2. Always Be Honest 

It often feels better to have than to want. This line of thinking leads to impulse purchases. The more expensive they are, the more likely a partner will try to cover them up. Eventually, the other spouse finds out anyway. It’s called financial infidelity, and it creates trust issues. 

Disclose the pricey purchase before the credit card or bank statements arrive. In the future, have a discussion before making a large financial decision. 

When there’s a financial dispute, be honest about your feelings, as it will encourage your partner to do the same. It creates an open forum for discussion where everyone can negotiate and eventually compromise. 

3. Discuss Mutual Goals 

Sit together and create a list of shared goals, like eliminating debt, buying a house, or retiring early. Then agree to work together to fulfill them. This will strengthen bonds by revealing personal dreams and aspirations and provide the comfort of knowing everyone’s on the same page. 

4. Create a Plan 

After establishing the shared goals, create a plan on how to achieve them. This usually involves detailed budgeting and financial compromises. One spouse may have to give up buying expensive coffee while another has to cut down on hockey tickets. Be the first to initiate a sacrifice. Your partner will acknowledge the dedication and be more open to making sacrifices of their own. 

Maintain a monthly schedule for financial discussions to make sure everyone has a say in the decisions and that changes can be implemented together. 

Through couples counseling, communication with your significant other will become easier. For over 20 years, Laurie Burns LCSW-R CGP has helped spouses overcome barriers and strengthen relationships. Talking through private issues can be a sensitive matter. To put her patients at ease, Laurie Burns creates a safe, welcoming, and non-judgmental atmosphere that is calming and discreet. For more information on her services, visit her website. If you’re in the Rochester, NY, area, call (585) 734-6826 to schedule an appointment.