Whether it happens suddenly or after a battle with an illness, the loss of a loved one is never easy. It can be difficult enough to process and cope as an adult, but having to deliver the news to a child may feel like an overwhelming responsibility. While death and funeral services are sensitive topics, they’re inevitable parts of the cycle of life. If you have a child, use these tips to navigate this conversation.

How to Talk to Children About Death

1. Be Honest 

In most situations, honesty is the best policy. This applies when discussing death with a young child who may not fully understand the topic yet.

While they don’t need to know every detail, be clear about the reality of the situation so they don’t have incorrect expectations. Use words like “died,” and avoid phrases such as “gone to sleep” or “in a better place,” which can be confusing to young kids. 

2. Ask & Answer Questions

Children of all ages should feel safe expressing their feelings and uncertainties about death. Once you’ve told them a loved one has died, make yourself available to support their emotions and provide answers to any questions they may have.

Everyone grieves differently, and your little one might not show much emotion or want to talk right away. However, offer to have conversations over the following days and weeks as they work through the information you’ve given them.  

3. Discuss the Funeral

It’s natural to want to shield your child from sad experiences, so many parents are reluctant to bring kids to funeral services. However, bringing your child gives them an opportunity to find closure. Make arrangements for someone to be able to bring the child home so that they do not have to attend the entire length of calling hours or if there is a church service maybe attending only the funeral would be better for the child.  Each child is different so plan according to the child’s behaviors. 

If the deceased was a close friend or family member, ask your child if they want to attend the service. If they do, prepare them for what to expect. Let them know what the events of the day will look like, how people might behave, and why it’s important to honor your loved one’s memory. If the child says no, it may be because they just don’t know what to do.  Explain the Cycle of Life to them and reassure them that you will be there for them.  This is a Teaching and Learning opportunity for you as a parent, care giver; as well as for the child.  

If you’re in charge of planning a loved one’s funeral service, turn to Arndt Funeral Home LLC for help navigating this difficult time. Since 1975, they’ve been providing families in Rochester, NY, with personalized solutions. They offer several burial and cremation options and work closely with you to make arrangements that pay tribute to your loved one. Call (585) 225-6350 to schedule a consultation or visit their website for more information on the various services they provide.