Attending a funeral is never easy, but it can be especially hard for young children because they may struggle to comprehend death. Additionally, seeing someone they know and love in such a strange environment can be traumatic if they’re ill-prepared. There is no set age at which children should start attending funerals because everyone is different. If you’re trying to determine whether your child should join the rest of the family in saying goodbye, this guide will help.   

What to Consider Before Taking Your Child to a Funeral 

Generally, it’s best not to bring toddlers to a funeral because they tend to be rambunctious. If your children are a bit older, though, and can sit still for an extended period of time—or at least entertain themselves quietly—ask them if they want to attend.

If they say yes, make sure they know what the service will entail, and try to evaluate their understanding of death before agreeing to take them. For example, are they aware the deceased won’t just be sleeping? Do they know why many of those in attendance may be crying?

If, on the other hand, your children are unsure about attending, consider their relationship with the deceased. If they were especially close, attending the funeral can provide a sense of closure. If the deceased was a distant relative, though, it may be best to get a babysitter. 

Ways to Prepare Your Child for Attending a Funeral 

Before your children attend a funeral, let them know what to expect. Explain that the deceased will be there, for example, but that they won’t be able to interact with anyone.

You can discuss how such services provide the chance for those who are grieving to say goodbye. If the service will be open-casket or followed by a burial, make sure to explain those portions, as well, in a simple, matter-of-fact way. 

When telling your child what to expect, be open and honest. For example, make it clear that the deceased won’t be coming back. If you practice religion, though, you can discuss your beliefs regarding the afterlife. Telling your children they’ll get to see the deceased in Heaven someday, for example, can be comforting. 

When discussing death with children, psychologists recommend using concrete terms. Parents are often hesitant to say “died,” but terms like “passed away,” “lost,” and “crossed over” can be confusing. Remember, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know.”

The compassionate team at Johnson-Kennedy Funeral Home, Inc. welcomes mourners of all ages because everyone deserves the chance to say goodbye. Located in Ontario County, NY, this funeral home has been catering to families across the Rochester area for more than 100 years. If you want to plan a beautiful funeral that honors a deceased loved one, you can count on them. To learn more about their services, visit their website or call (585) 394-4280.