How to Discuss Getting a Divorce With Your Children
If you and your spouse have decided to separate, discussing the divorce with your children can be challenging. Informing your kids of the decision will help them understand why things are happening and how it affects their lives. If you need to have this tough talk with your little ones, here are a few steps you can take to ease the conversation.
3 Tips for Talking to Your Children About Divorce
1. Tell Everyone Together
Hold a family meeting, so you and your partner can tell the children together. During the meeting, your kids can lean on their siblings for support. Telling the family together ensures that each child hears the same information—this will keep miscommunication and misunderstandings to a minimum.
2. Present a Unified Front
Make it clear that the decision was made together, and tell your kids how you plan to adjust to the new life. This plan will help your children understand and prepare for what will happen. For example, tell them that they’ll soon have two of everything and whether or not they’re changing schools. Emphasize that the divorce is not their fault, and you’ll both do everything you can to co-parent effectively.
3. Answer Questions
Although you may explain everything thoroughly, be prepared to repeat yourself and answer questions. Be patient, and give them time to process the information. Kids may not understand the intricacies of marriage and may be confused about why this is happening. If they ask for the reason behind the divorce, avoid placing blame on a specific event or person. Before calling the family meeting, talk with your partner about how to best address this question so that your kids don’t feel resentment toward anyone.
If you and your spouse have decided to separate, contact Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC, in Honolulu, HI. These legal professionals understand the challenges of divorce and will do everything they can to make the process as smooth as possible. Visit their website to learn more about the filing process, or call (808) 524-4854 to schedule a free initial consultation.
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