Codependency is a common relationship issue that can occur between two people who are close, such as a parent and child, romantic partners, and friends. One party will struggle to function without the other, often feeling helpless or worthless without the person’s love and guidance. Personal identities become lost in codependent relationships, and individuals may forgo hobbies and activities that they enjoy doing alone. If you suspect that this is an issue for you or someone in your life, here’s what you need to know. 

Causes

Codependency issues typically begin during childhood. A parent who does everything for their little one instead of letting them develop a sense of independence, for example, can make that child feel helpless. Codependent parents also use guilt to control their children, such as scolding them for wanting to do activities alone instead of attending to their parents’ needs.

Parents who abuse their children in various ways promote codependency, as kids learn to ignore their feelings and focus on external stimuli and the needs of the people they have relationships with. Codependent children often feel that their needs are not important, which stunts their emotional growth. They subsequently think of others instead of themselves and depend on the people around them for emotional validation.

Symptoms

The inability to find happiness outside of a relationship signals codependency issues. Many individuals feel constant stress about their relationships, such as fear that their significant other will leave them, or they may stay in unhealthy partnerships because they believe no one else will love them.

Other warning signs include devoting all spare time to the other person, feeling guilty about self-care activities, and doing anything to satisfy the partner, even if it is unethical or illegal. The mental, emotional, and physical health of a codependent person may suffer because their energy is primarily spent serving the other’s needs.

How to Overcome This Issue

If you recognize symptoms in yourself, talk to friends and family members who support you and want what’s best for your emotional wellness. Spend time with these individuals to help get used to being away from the person you’re in a codependent relationship with.

Next, look for hobbies of interest, such as joining a hiking group or volunteering with a horticultural center. Consider therapy to help you identify the specific causes of your codependent issues and talk about your feelings with a compassionate, objective individual. If you are in a relationship that’s abusive, let friends and family members know and seek help from a professional. 

If you’re looking to overcome codependency issues, contact Counseling Solutions of Alaska. The counseling center has locations in Anchorage and Eagle River and has helped their clients resolve emotional issues since 2007, including PTSD and depression. Call (907) 644-8044 or visit them online to learn more. Like their Facebook for more counseling advice.