It may be tempting to communicate one-on-one with your spouse during a divorce. However, if you’re already engaged in litigation, you should first consult your attorney. You’ve hired representation to help you obtain a more favorable outcome in your divorce, but, as this overview demonstrates, talking to your spouse can sabotage your case.

How to Communicate With Your Spouse During Divorce Litigation

Tips for Constructive Communication

Wait until you’re calm and able to think rationally when you speak to your spouse. Also, take time to consider how you’ll respond to any overtures. If your spouse reaches out to you about a trivial matter, it may be better to decline to answer altogether. Never respond out of anger or frustration. Your spouse may goad you into saying something their lawyer can use against you during litigation.

In addition, set boundaries. Establish when your spouse can communicate with you and when they should expect to hear back from you to limit phone calls and text messages.

Topics to Avoid 

Consult your divorce attorney before broaching delicate issues. Every divorcing couple is unique. Use your judgment to decide what to discuss with your spouse. Don’t discuss the events that caused the break-up of your marriage, and refrain from calling your spouse names. Your goal should be to engage in conversations that will help lead to a successful and expeditious settlement for you both.

When to Communicate Through Your Attorney

Some couples are unable to discuss issues without their emotions getting the better of them. In these situations, let your lawyer speak on your behalf. Your legal advocate—a trained negotiator—isn’t emotionally invested.

Even if you and your spouse are engaged in divorce mediation, having your lawyers present will help the process proceed more smoothly. Your attorney will advise you about statements that may adversely affect your case and suggest compromises that will be agreeable to both of you.

If you’re facing divorce litigation, contact Traystman & Coric, LLC. They’ve been representing clients in New London, CT, for more than 50 years. Their experienced teams have honed their negotiating and litigating skills across many areas of practice, including divorce, family law, and child custody. To schedule a consultation, call (860) 442-8758, or visit them online for an overview of their approach to divorce proceedings.