When a loved one has recently lost someone close to them, there are several ways you can alleviate their grief, from helping to plan the memorial service to assisting with daily chores like cooking, cleaning, or laundry. Talking with your loved one about the memory of their family member or friend can help them process their feelings. However, try to avoid the following phrases when comforting someone who lost a loved one.

What Not To Say to Someone In Mourning

1. ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ 

While this message isn’t directly negative, it can make an individual who recently lost someone feel as though their feelings of sadness are invalid. People use this phrase to try and help someone make sense of why their loved one is gone. Instead of trying to help by offering a rationale for death, tell your loved one that you are sorry for their pain and remind them that you are there to support them through their grief.

2. ‘I Know How You Feel’

This phrase is often used to try and connect with an individual who has lost someone using a similar experience. Unfortunately, while the intentions are positive, this can feel dismissive of the grieving individual’s feelings because no two deaths are alike. Rather than comparing your experience to theirs, ask them what they are feeling and connect with them through shared emotion.

3. ‘They Lived a Long & Good Life’

This phrase is commonly used during memorial services when honoring the life of an elderly loved one. Whether a person has lived a long and fulfilling life does not lessen the pain your friend or family member is experiencing. While this saying may be true, it may not provide comfort. Instead, ask your loved one what their favorite memory is of the deceased. Your friend or family member can be comforted by remembering some of their fond experiences they shared with their lost loved one.

If you are helping a loved one grieve during the loss of someone special, consult the professionals at Leo M. Bean and Sons Funeral Home in Rochester, NY, about how they can provide assistance. For the last 40 years, these professionals have offered the compassionate and knowledgeable care you need during difficult times by providing thoughtful memorial services and funerals. To learn more about their services, visit them online or call (585) 426-7830.