Gestational surrogacy is a popular method of childbearing for gay couples that involves using in vitro fertilization treatment to transfer sperm to a surrogate’s egg. However, only one person’s sperm can be used per egg, which brings up the difficult decision of who will be the biological father of the baby. Here are a few tips to help you along this process.

3 Helpful Tips to Choose the Biological Father for Surrogacy

1. Speak Freely

Open communication between partners is a necessary component of this monumental decision. Deciding who will be the father can ignite unexpected emotional responses, so talk through your thoughts, desires, and expectations. Share any fears or hesitations with your partner to clear the air and better prepare for the in vitro fertilization process.

2. Choose Desirable Traits

Looking at each other’s family medical history and desirable characteristics can help you and your partner understand the options available. If one partner is endowed with exceptional physical or mental capabilities, you may want to pass those on to the child. On the other hand, you’ll likely want to minimize the chance of transmitting any hereditary diseases like cancer. 

3. Talk to a Specialist

If you or your partner feel overwhelmed during the decision-making process, reach out to a licensed mental health professional to help work through your emotions. 

The doctor who performs the in vitro fertilization treatment can also provide noninvasive workups, including a brief physical exam and sperm analysis. These results may help you determine whose will have a better chance of developing through IVF.