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Experiencing loss is challenging for anyone, but for young minds, the death of a loved one can be especially difficult to understand. If a family member or close loved one has recently passed away, discussing loss with your child is important to help them heal. It can also prepare them for what to expect for the memorial service, should you decide to include them. While every family should have these conversations in a way that works for their dynamics, here are some basic tips to guide you. 

3 Ways to Discuss the Death of a Family Member With a Child

1. Use Clear, Concise Language

When you explain death, try to use simple words. If it’s the first death your child has ever been made aware of, you may explain that the person’s body stopped working. This honest, direct approach helps to share the news in a way your child may be able to understand. If you feel your child is at an appropriate age to attend the memorial service, discuss what to expect at the event. Discuss who will be there, whether the body will be present, and how everyone is expected to act. 

2. Ask Questions & Listen

memorial servicesAfter sharing the news with your child, be sure to let them know you’re there to listen any time they’d like to talk. You might want to ask open-ended questions about how your child is feeling. Similarly, listen to their responses and any questions they may have. Your child may ask you many questions about passing on, or they may seem a bit detached. Children process loss differently than adults, so their reactions will be different, too. 

3. Share Your Own Feelings 

Loss can bring on profound sadness, even in little ones. While the pain doesn’t simply go away, knowing others have similar emotions can provide some comfort for children. Let your child know they’re not alone if they’re sad or frustrated. You can share the feelings you’re experiencing using statements such as “I miss them, too,” or “I’m sad, too.” Remind them it’s okay to cry and show emotions, both at the memorial service and at home. Most importantly, let your child know the loss isn’t their fault, and that healing can happen together as a family. 

 

 

When someone passes in Ontario County, NY, their loved ones can turn to Johnson-Kennedy Funeral Home. Serving the community for more than 100 years, they hold respectful funerals and memorial services to honor the lives of family members according to their personal wishes. Their caring directors know loss can be difficult for people at any age, which is why they’re available to walk you through every step of the planning process. Call (585) 394-4280 or visit their website for more information about their services.

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