Standing by while a loved one struggles with grief can be saddening and overwhelming. Whether it’s helping with the funeral or simply giving them a shoulder to cry on, there are ways you can help. However, knowing what to say during this period can be confusing. Although you may mean well, the following phrases can actually do more harm than good during this time.  

3 Phrases to Avoid Saying to a Grieving Friend

1. You Should Get Out More

You might worry that your friend isn’t getting out enough after the passing of their loved one. However, whether they aren’t leaving the house because they’re busy planning the funeral or they simply don’t have the energy, it’s crucial you respect their choices. Socializing or being in public while they’re grieving may be more than they can handle, and trying to push them before they’re ready may make them withdraw even more. Instead, say something like, “I think getting some fresh air might be helpful to clear your head. If you’re up for it, I’d love to take a walk with you. But it’s completely up to you.”

2. I Really Think You Should Talk About It

Everyone processes emotions differently. For some, talking about difficult situations is most helpful. For others, though, self-reflection and internal contemplation are better. You might worry your loved one is bottling their emotions up, but you need to respect their boundaries and trust them to sort through their emotions.

Instead of pushing them to talk, consider saying, “If you want to talk about what happened, I’m here for you. Maybe working on the eulogy for the funeral together will be a good healing process? Either way, I want to support you in whatever way is best.”

3. This Will Pass

You likely want your friend to start feeling better as soon as possible, and you might think letting them know the grief will pass will help get them there. However, this could lead to them feeling pressured to get over the situation before they’re ready. Instead, say something like, “I know you’re hurting right now. I hope it passes soon, but I’ll be here to help you get through it no matter how long it takes.”

If you have a loved one who needs help planning a funeral, turn to the professionals at Porto Funeral Homes in New Haven County, CT. With over 75 years of experience, this family-owned and -operated company takes a compassionate, personalized approach to every service they plan. Visit their website to learn more about their services, and call their West Haven location at (203) 934-5000 or their East Haven location at (203) 467-3000 to schedule an appointment today.