In October of 2019, divorce attorney Brad Coates shared his wisdom on two talk shows. On Oct. 1, he discussed the decline of marriage in America and what these changes mean to relationships, the law, and society. Attorney Coates spoke with marriage and family therapist Dr. Diana Wiley on her radio show Love, Lust and Laughter. Two days later, he appeared on ThinkTech Hawaii and was interviewed by the web show’s host Jay Fidell. Here’s a quick summary of what he discussed.

How Has Marriage & Divorce Changed?

The modern world has changed the foundation of marriage, shifting it away from a needs-based relationship and into one that’s primarily defined by love. Divorce has become more common because emotions, especially intense, complex ones, like love, are subject to change. Higher divorce rates have changed the impression of walking away from a marriage—the couple’s decision is more acceptable nowadays and isn’t seen as a failure.

What Are Marriage Killers?

Attorney Coates has identified several factors that he says kill a modern marriage. Technology can cause conflicts in a marriage because it increases access to extramarital partners and opportunities for infidelity. Other factors on his list include:

• Greater numbers of women attaining advanced education and powerful positions in the workforce.
• A decreasing interest in religion.
• The widespread social acceptance of living alone or living together without the benefit of marriage.
• Government and corporate benefits expanded to include partners of unmarried couples.

Attorney Coates is a partner at the law firm of Coates Frey Tanimoto & Gibson, AAL, LLLC, in Honolulu, HI. With over 35 years of experience, he and his colleagues represent Oahu clients in all aspects of family law, including divorces, legal separations, and child custody disputes. Read and listen to other interviews in their online media gallery, or call (808) 524-4854 to schedule a free consultation.