When someone you know experiences a loss, sending a condolence card that expresses your sympathies can comfort them before and after the funeral services. Expressing your sentiments eloquently but authentically can be challenging, but it’s a card that will have an impact and should be done well. Here is a brief guide on the basic aspects of composing a condolence card.

What to Include

The goal of a condolence card is to comfort the bereaved, let them know you care, and offer them support. Acknowledging their pain—such as writing, “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you”—lets them know that it’s okay to experience grief and that they don’t have to put on a brave face for everyone. It also opens the door for them to talk about what they’re feeling.

Sharing some of your favorite memories or enclosing photographs of their loved one also provides comfort, as the memories will be precious to them. You should also include a simple expression of how much you care, whether it’s as simple as, “I love you,” or a few sentences about what they mean to you, which will remind them they’re valued and not alone. If appropriate, offering to help however you can is often a relief to the bereaved. Since they’ll be busy mourning, arranging a funeral, and contacting friends, practical help like bringing food or assisting with the funeral services will be the most appreciated.

What to Avoid

Express your sentiments however feels best to you, but be considerate in your wording. Statements like, “I know what you’re going through,” are well-intentioned, but they shift the conversation’s focus to your loss and don’t provide much substance. Another topic to avoid is pushing them to move on or be in a positive mindset before they’re ready, as with statements like, “Now you can do everything you couldn’t when they were sick,” or, “At least they’re not suffering anymore.” Not only will these statements be ineffective at consoling them, but they can seem belittling of the loss.

Unless you know both the bereaved and their lost loved one closely, you should also avoid religious sentiments like, “They’re in a better place,” or, “It was God’s plan.” If they aren’t religious, these statements will hold little value to them and could just make them more upset or uncomfortable.

If you or your loved one needs to arrange funeral services, Frederick Funeral Home in Cincinnati, OH, offers personal, affordable services. Since 1932, this family-owned funeral home has specialized in providing beautiful and memorable cremation, memorial, and funeral services, including unique limited viewing and ship-in options. Their experienced team makes arranging a funeral a smooth, simple process, and their competitive pricing will further ease your stress. Learn about their funeral services and other options by visiting them online or calling (513) 522-3700.