When a close friend loses a loved one, it’s difficult to watch them grieve, particularly if you live far away and are unable to comfort them up close. Even if you’re unable to support them by coming to the memorial service, there are many ways for you to comfort your friend from far away.

Long-Distance Tips for Helping a Grieving Friend

1. Make the Initial Phone Call

If you heard about the death through someone else, reach out with a phone call. Even if you leave a message, it's best that your friend hears your voice instead of receiving a text or an email with your condolences. If your friend indicates they need space or aren't ready to talk, respect their wishes. After the memorial services have passed, gently reach out through text messages or written notes.

2. Avoid All the Cliches

When you do talk to your friend, avoid empty expressions such as "It was their time to go," "They’re in a better place," or "They aren't in pain anymore." Don’t worry about sounding ineloquent. Say you’re sorry. Admit that it's painful. When you don't know what to say, just say you don't know what to say. Your friend needs honesty and support.

3. Send Flowers

Sending flowers with a brief note to the funeral home or memorial service is an easy way to bridge the geographical gap. In addition to sending a bouquet to the service, you should also send something to your friend at home: flowers, fruit, wine, or anything they may enjoy or need in this time of grief.

4. Enlist the Help of Others

Even though you aren’t nearby, you can enlist the practical help of others to make your friend's life easier. Contact other friends, acquaintances, and organizations in the vicinity who can deliver sympathy meals, run errands, or otherwise support your friend as they go through the long grieving process.

5. Memorialize the Deceased

Grieving people often worry their loved one will soon be forgotten. A memorial is a powerful way to honor the memory of the deceased individual. Making a donation to charity, planting a memorial tree, and creating a video are all simple ways to let your friend know their loved one’s legacy lives on.

6. Plan a Future Trip

If work or other obligations prevent you from visiting your friend right now, make a plan to see them as soon as possible. Schedule a vacation or take other steps to meet up with your friend on a trip in the near future. Planning the details of the trip with your friend is also an effective way to help take their minds off their loss.

If you have lost a loved one, reach out to the compassionate professionals at Jacqueline M. Ryan Home for Funerals in Keansburg, NJ. A fixture in the Monmouth County area for over 70 years, this funeral home handles many facets of funeral planning, including obituaries and memorial services. Visit their website or call (732) 787-1177 to learn more about their offerings.