A funeral service is an event that can be as unique as the individual being honored, but that also has an etiquette to follow. One question you may have if this is the first funeral you’re attending is whether or not it is appropriate to bring a gift. Let the guide below help you decide.

How to Decide if a Gift Is Appropriate

The biggest factor in this decision is how well you knew the deceased or their family. If you were close, then bringing a gift of some kind is a wonderful gesture. If the connection was less impactful, no gift is necessary. Etiquette says that gifts are not required at a funeral service at all, regardless of the relationship, so it really is a personal choice. If the family requests gifts, such as donations to be given in the name of a charity, then it is appropriate to give what you can.

What Kind of Gifts Are Best?

Flowers—either a wreath, bouquet, or single bloom—are time-honored funeral gifts. Small offerings, such as chocolate or cards for the family may be appropriate to bring to the service, but keep in mind that family members may be overwhelmed and not able to receive gifts gracefully. Offerings of food, for the days after, gift cards to grocery stores or other practical locations, or even gifts of time, such as help cleaning, are much appreciated after the funeral service. If you are close to the family and there is a larger memorial gift planned, such as a bench in a park, you may choose to contribute to that.

Best Practices for Gift Giving

Funeral service directors may set up a receiving area for flowers and cards, although there usually is not a table where gifts are collected. If the family requests donations, there will usually be instructions on the announcement or at the funeral home. Leave larger gifts to deliver personally after the event, along with food. If you are unable to attend a service, it’s still fine to send remembrances afterward, even if it is flowers or just a card. Although the recipient may not thank you right away, trust that in this difficult time it will be appreciated. 

A funeral service is a time to honor the deceased and be present for the family in their grief. Gifts may not be expected, but the gesture is appreciated. Eackles-Spencer & Norton Funeral Home, serving Harper’s Ferry and Charles Town, WV, offers complete funeral services, memorial celebrations, cremation, pre-planning, and grief resources. Call (304) 724-6500 to start the planning process or visit their comprehensive website for information and resources.