When it comes to child custody disputes, there’s a common misconception that as long as a child is old enough, they can choose the parent they live with. In reality, this decision is always made by a judge. However, this doesn’t mean that the child has nothing to do with this decision. Below are some important facts to know about how child custody cases are determined, as well as some common situations in which a child's choice may differ from a judge's.

Determining Child Custody

In a custody case, a family law judge's primary responsibility is to ensure the child's safety and welfare. In other words, they’re tasked with assigning custody based on the child’s best interests. In certain cases, the child’s best interests don’t necessarily align with the child's personal preferences. Even in situations where the parents reach their own custody arrangements, the plan must be approved by a judge to ensure that it’s ideal for the child. The child and parents are all free to state their custody preferences, and the judge will consider all input with great care. However, the final decision is not theirs, but the judge's. The judge arrives at this decision after careful consideration of many key factors, such as the parents' income, employment, health, and living situations.

Why the Child’s Preferences Don’t Take Precedence

There are many reasons why a child might prefer to live with one parent over another. They may just naturally feel closer to or safer with one parent. They might also feel one parent is more "fun" than the other parent.

However, not all scenarios are so innocuous. In some cases, a child's custody preferences may be a product of parental manipulation or of well-intended but misguided thinking. In exchange for their testimony, they may have been promised a gift or certain privileges by the parent seeking primary custody. They may want to live with the parent they feel needs them more, which creates an unhealthy reversal of the parent-child dynamic in the relationship. They might choose to live with the parent they know less because of an idealized vision of how things will be when the two are under the same roof; in these cases, the reality is often much different.

A family law attorney will be your biggest ally throughout the child custody process. Brown, Burgoon, & Hartnagel, P.C., have been serving Rockland, Westchester and Orange Counties in New York since 1992. They offer representation in divorce, custody, real estate, personal injury, and taxation cases. Schedule a free consultation by calling (845) 624-1966. Visit their website for more information about their areas of practice.