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The Do’s & Don’ts of Discussing Exes on a Date June 6, 2019

Pembroke, Detroit
The Do’s & Don’ts of Discussing Exes on a Date, Detroit, Michigan

Early in a new relationship, it can be tricky to decide when to bring up exes. Drawing the line between being open and appearing that you’re not over a long-term relationship can be tough. Follow the guide below for guidance on this tricky topic.



While the timeline will be different for everyone, it might be awkward to bring up old relationships before you’ve established a connection with someone new, so wait until you’ve gone on a few dates and continued to feel a spark. At this point, it can be healthy to have a mature discussion about both of your exes. After all, this is an important part of your life that will help you get to know each other.

long-term relationshipBe neutral.

Do not speak too negatively or too positively about a past long-term relationship. If you speak about your ex too negatively, it may threaten your new relationship by making you look immature. If you speak about them too positively, they may feel that you still have feelings for the ex or that they cannot compete. Instead, talk about your ex in a neutral but honest manner.


Purposely hide information.

If your date does turn into a long-term relationship, you don’t want them to feel that you’ve been hiding information about your ex. If you’re still in touch with an ex, you should share this information. If you don’t, it could make your current partner feel lied to. The right person will appreciate your honesty.

Ask how many people they’ve been with.

This is an invasive question that likely won’t get a positive response. Even if they do respond with an honest answer, it’s difficult to respond to it in a way that doesn’t seem judgmental.


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