Few things are more difficult in life than ending a marriage. However, when the relationship you’re leaving involves incidents of domestic violence or sexual abuse, the divorce process is likely to become more challenging, as multiple courts may have to intervene, including the criminal courts. Over the last few years, the #MeToo movement has encouraged more and more spouses to speak up about the abuse they’ve suffered and take action to protect their rights. With careful planning and guidance of a qualified divorce attorney, who is also skilled in areas of domestic violence and sexual abuse, you can safely transition out of your marriage. Here are a few tips for navigating this situation successfully.

Do: 

Keep a journal of the abuse.

Whether it’s a one-time event or ongoing, keep a journal of the violence or abuse you experience. New York law allows spouses to pursue fault-based divorce when domestic violence occurs, which can also implicate criminal charges. This can, depending on severity, impact the court’s decision on division of property and child custody and visitation. 

Consider getting an Order of Protection. 

Orders of Protection are not only designed to help victims of physical abuse or domestic violence, but to protect other members of the household; particularly children. If you fear for your safety, your divorce attorney can help you obtain an Order of Protection, or contact law enforcement. This will keep your spouse from having any offensive contact with you, allow you to remain in the marital home, and can address temporary custody of children. However, Orders of Protection should not be taken lightly. They require testimony and accusations of behavior usually constituting a crime. They should not be used to gain negotiating leverage, or to get your spouse “out of the house”. They can have lifelong ramifications and employment consequences.

Don’t:

Agree to mediation. 

While mediation can be a way to resolve a divorce where the parties are civil, it’s not appropriate in cases that involve domestic violence. This will ensure you aren’t bullied into settling for something that can't work due to domestic violence.

Forget about your finances. 

Divorce can take a serious toll on your finances. It’s important to prepare for a secure future. Begin gathering all of your financial records, including W-2s, bank statements, tax returns, credit card bills, retirement accounts, investments, and mortgage information so you can help your attorney gain a clear picture of your assets and debts. This will help your attorney determine what would be a fair settlement.

If your divorce case includes allegations of domestic violence or sexual abuse, you will need the support and experience of a proven divorce attorney. Thomas A. Corletta, Attorney at Law has been representing spouses across Monroe County and Western, New York, in high-conflict divorce cases for nearly 40 years. He will work diligently to preserve your interests and help ensure you receive everything you’re entitled to either through trial or settlement. He will also use his criminal law background to assist you if there are domestic violence problems in your marriage.. To schedule a consultation with this proven divorce attorney and litigator, call (585) 546-5072, or visit his website for more information on the all the services he provides.