Deciding to separate from your spouse is difficult. After meeting with a divorce lawyer, you may be wondering how to share the news with your children. Below is a guide to navigating this conversation, so you know how to ease them into the discussion, offer assurance, and explain how to move forward.  

How to Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

Put aside any differences you may have with your former partner and tell the children together in a calm, private setting. Don’t play the blame game and spare kids any details, particularly if infidelity was involved. Present a united front to make it clear you are both still there for your kids.

Be prepared for varied reactions. Younger children may cry. They will likely be concerned with how the change impacts them. Will they have to change schools? Where will they live? What happens to the family dog? Confirm these details with a divorce lawyer before having this discussion so you are prepared for questions. Older children may get angry. Keep calm and explain that you have both tried to make the marriage work. Alternatively, older kids may try to seem unaffected. Tell them they can always come to you if they start feeling sad later on. 

What to Do After Sharing the News

After you’ve shared the news of the divorce, reiterate that your children can be honest and open with you about their emotions. Talking about divorce is an ongoing process, not something you do once and never address again. Acknowledge their feelings, while always making it clear the divorce had nothing to do with them.

In the weeks and months following a divorce, try to find a new routine as a family and stick to it. Kids are comforted by regularity, which offers a sense of stability. Continue to follow the same household rules and chore schedules as usual. Resist the temptation to spoil them as a distraction, as setting firm guidelines also fosters stability. 

Determining the details of your separation with a divorce lawyer before you share the news with your children prepares you for the discussions to follow. Payne Law Office of Lincoln, NE, provides personalized services rooted in a thorough knowledge of divorce and child custody law. You can expect compassionate representation from these professionals. For a free consultation with a divorce lawyer, call (402) 477-7246.