When you’ve decided the best course of action is to end your marriage, you might feel eager to tell your spouse immediately so you don’t have to keep it bottled up. But just as important as enlisting a knowledgeable divorce lawyer is delivering the news in a way that’s as sensitive as the information itself. Use the following pointers to tell your spouse how you feel in a direct yet respectful way.

3 Tips for Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

1. Choose the Proper Environment

Receiving the news that a spouse no longer wants to be married can be a significant life event, and it’s important to keep your husband or wife’s feelings in mind. Instead of letting the announcement fly during your next disagreement, make a plan to sit your spouse down and tell them calmly. Avoid loud, public places—instead, choose a quiet place where your spouse can process the news and get emotional. If you have children, make sure they’re not around to hear, as you’ll want to tell them separately, as a couple.

2. Be Firm but Gentle

While you may have been considering this decision for months, keep in mind that this is the first time your spouse will experience the news. Turn off all distractions, including your phone and the TV, and sit down next to your spouse. Look in their eyes and tell them that after much thinking, you’ve decided you want a divorce. Trying to sugarcoat the news can be confusing, especially if your spouse is hopeful you’ll change your mind. The more decorum you show in this early stage, the more successful your divorce lawyer will be at a healthy resolution to the proceedings.

3. Be Prepared for Their Reaction

It’s natural for your spouse to be angry, sad, or feel a wide range of emotions upon hearing your decision. At first, they might even be in denial, unwilling to take you seriously. Calmly restate your decision, and be prepared to give reasons why you’ve made it. You can also choose to deliver the news in the company of a counselor or divorce lawyer. If your spouse is sad and upset, comfort them as you would wish to be comforted—just because you’re ending the marriage doesn’t mean you can’t be there for them as a friend. If you’re afraid of your spouse becoming violent, make sure there’s another adult in the house or sitting in a car outside.

If you’re preparing to tell your spouse you want a divorce, get in touch with Castles Family Law of Brentwood and Nashville, TN. Divorce attorney Lauren Wilson Castles will help you understand all your options and ensure you’re prepared for the legal settlement that will follow your decision. She serves clients throughout Davidson, Rutherford, and Williamson counties, providing everything from adoption to estate planning help. For more information on her work, visit the firm’s website or call (615) 804-6086 to set up a consultation with this respected divorce lawyer.