Divorce is emotional for the entire family. As a parent, sharing the news of your split with your kids can be one of the toughest parts of the process — even more daunting than signing the actual paperwork from your lawyer. With some advanced preparation and the advice below, however, you’ll ease the discussion for all involved. 

Preparing Beforehand

Even if you and your soon-to-be ex aren’t getting along at the moment, make plans to tell the kids together, if logistically possible. You want them to know that you’ll both still going to be there for them going forward. Decide as a team what you will say. Writing out a script and practicing can be helpful. It may be best to see a mediator or counselor for help. 

Anticipate questions. Kids will want to know details like with whom they’ll live, whether they’ll need to move, how often they’ll see each parent, and what will happen to the family dog. Determining these details in advance with the help of a lawyer will mean you’ll have answers ready.

During the Conversation

Keep calm and avoid getting into arguments during this discussion. Tailor your language to your child’s age. A teenager may be able to handle more detail and context than a little one. No matter how old they are, however, don’t play the blame game when explaining why you’re getting divorced. Keep sordid details out of the conversation. They don’t need to know about an extramarital affair, for instance. You can simply say you’ve tried to get beyond your differences but haven’t been able to.

Reassure them that you both still love them and will offer them support no matter what. Be prepared for all kinds of reactions. Some kids might not be surprised. Others may cry or get angry. However they respond, emphasize that you are both still there for them as parents and that they can always talk to you.

Enlist the help of a lawyer to handle the technical parts your divorce, allowing you to focus your energy on key emotional steps. Upstate Legal Center Of John V Shepard of Rochester, NY, will help. These attorneys provide compassionate representation backed by more than 30 years of experience. Whether you need assistance with a personal injury claim or are considering filing for bankruptcy, they have knowledge you can count on. Learn more about the firm online. Call (585) 429-5422 to make an appointment.