Coping with the death of a loved one is painful. Many parents question whether it’s a good idea to bring their children along to the deceased’s funeral service. They may worry that the child might feel afraid or be exposed to this unfortunate reality too soon in life. Others may feel like it’s appropriate for them to attend. While this is a personal choice, there are many factors to consider that may help you make the right decision.

Determining Whether Children Should Go to Funerals

What Role Does Age Play?

Age is one of the most critical factors because it largely dictates how your child behaves in public. Babies may sleep or cry through the service, but if the deceased requested the little one’s presence then you might wish to bring them with you. Toddlers can be noisy and may disturb fellow mourners, and you may find that you need to spend considerable time tending to them.

Preschool-age kids might be able to sit still, but the somber surroundings could overwhelm them. Older children can typically grasp the solemnity of the occasion and may have many questions in the aftermath of a loss. If you feel they are mature enough, you might choose to have them attend.

What Else Is Important?

You should also focus on the child’s relationship with the deceased. If they were close, it’s reasonable that they should—and may want to—attend the funeral service. This is particularly true of relatives, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles who played a significant role in the young one’s life. For immediate family members, it is always appropriate for the child to come to the service.

However, it should be left to surviving loved ones to determine whether they feel the child is emotionally prepared. Some may simply be too overwhelmed or overwrought with grief. Other children may view a funeral and burial as a chance to bid a final farewell to the person. Both responses are understandable and respectable.

Which Portions Are Suitable?

If your child expresses interest but you don’t feel that they’re fully prepared to take part in the entire service, you may want to consider having them attend select portions. It can be difficult for kids of any age to see a body, as younger ones may think the person is sleeping and older kids might find it difficult to see someone they love in this state.

Maybe they would simply like to attend the actual service and listen to speakers; others might ask you to share a memory on their behalf. It’s always wise to discuss these options with your child in advance. Allow them to ask questions and be as honest as possible. You can even turn to the funeral home for grief support services if you find yourself overwhelmed and uncertain.

You don’t have to navigate the difficult days following a death on your own. Turn to the compassionate professionals at Eackles-Spencer & Norton Funeral Home in Harpers Ferry and Charles Town, WV. In addition to assisting you in arranging the funeral service and burial or cremation, they also provide grief support services during this challenging time. They’re also available to answer any questions that you have. Visit them online for information or call (304) 724-6500.