Since it’s often in a child’s best interests to spend time with both parents, shared child custody arrangements are fairly common. However, just because such an arrangement is ideal doesn't mean adjusting to it will be easy. While every child will react to the transition differently, most need some time to get used to the new family dynamic. Fortunately, there are ways parents can make the transition easier. Here are helpful tips for handling your custody plans. 

Do:

Focus on what matters most. 

Dealing with your ex may be challenging, especially if the split wasn’t amicable. Focusing solely on what’s best for your child, though, will help you maintain perspective and pick your battles. Keep in mind that being a good parent and being a bad spouse aren’t mutually exclusive; your former partner can still offer valuable love and support to your young one. 

Maintain open lines of communication. 

In a shared child custody arrangement, the parents must remain in regular contact, especially if the children are too young to have their own phones. To ensure every conversation is productive, discuss your expectations and establish ground rules. Consider what mode of communication is simplest for you, whether it’s calling, texting, or emailing. Set a schedule for your children to call you when they’re with your former spouse. Creating a new tradition around an expected Sunday evening video chat, for example, will foster stability. 

Don’t:

Badmouth your ex. 

No matter how you feel about your former partner, you shouldn’t insult or demean them in front of your child. This will leave them conflicted and make them feel as if they must choose sides. When you’re frustrated and need to vent, call a sympathetic friend or trusty relative instead. 

Be inflexible. 

Caring for a child involves a certain degree of unpredictability, especially if you also have work or other obligations that need your attention. It can be aggravating if your ex unexpectedly changes plans, but keep in mind that there may come a time when you need to tweak the schedule, too. Adaptability will make the process go more smoothly. If your ex is often asking for changes, however, it may be wise to talk to an attorney about your options for formally modifying the arrangement. 

If you’re facing child custody concerns, turn to the compassionate and effective family law team at Brown, Burgoon, & Hartnagel, P.C. Based in Bardonia, NY, this general practice firm is proud to represent clients throughout Orange and Rockland counties. Founded in 1992, they have an impressive track record of resolving even the most complicated legal disputes. To schedule a complimentary, no-obligation consultation with a child custody attorney on their team, call (845) 624-1966 or fill out the form on their website.