Whether death comes after a prolonged illness or after a sudden event, it's never easy to say goodbye. This is especially true for spouses who have devoted years of their lives to one another and are suddenly faced with being alone. Both before the funeral and after, there are some things you can do to best support a parent who has lost their spouse. Here are a few to keep in mind.

How to Help a Parent Grieve the Death of a Spouse

1. Be Present

Everyone grieves in their own way. Some may want constant companionship; others may want to be left alone. Honor the requests your parent makes and the ways they're grieving. Remind them that you are always there for them. Keep your phone with you at all times and be ready to listen when they need to talk. Also, be sure their physical needs are met. Fill their refrigerator with easy-to-reheat meals, regularly get them out for a walk or even just a drive, and make sure they go to scheduled doctor's appointments.

2. Avoid Clichés

No one can truly know another's grief or the depth of their loss. While platitudes can sometimes be comforting, they can also feel dismissive of a grieving person's pain. Don't say things like "He's in a better place," or "At least she's out of pain now," or "It's God's will/part of His plan." Instead, just be there. Hold your parent when they cry, be by their side at the funeral, and let them talk and vent. Your presence is more important than your advice.

3. Honor the Milestones

There is no timeline for grief, but it is not uncommon for the first year to be intense and challenging, as it is your parent's first year alone. Avoid the painful anniversaries—such as the day Dad was diagnosed or the evening Mom had a stroke—and continue to honor the happy milestones. On the deceased's birthday, visit their grave together. On your parents' wedding anniversary, send flowers to your surviving parent. On holidays where the family traditionally gathers, speak of your departed parent by sharing good memories and funny stories. Let the beauty of your parent's life live on.

These tips will ensure you are there for your parent in their loss. For any funeral related needs, trust Fred D. Knapp & Son Funeral Home. Since 1846, they have been providing funeral planning and preplanning for people in the Fairfield County, CT, area. Family-owned and -operated, they are here to design the funeral service that captures the essence of your loved one and gives them a memorable farewell. Call (203) 869-0315 or visit them online to arrange a consultation today.