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What Should I Say to Someone Who's Grieving? April 18, 2019

East Haven, New Haven County
What Should I Say to Someone Who's Grieving?, East Haven, Connecticut

When someone you know has lost a loved one, you want to be there for them as much as possible. Don’t feel helpless when you’re confused about what to say to them; this is only natural. You can show your support at the funeral and by keeping in touch with personal conversation. Here’s how.

What to Say at the Funeral

A funeral service is usually not the time to have an in-depth conversation with the grieving family and close friends. You have shown your support by being there, and you can pay your respects with just a few words. Tell them you’re sorry for their loss and share a personal anecdote about the deceased if you have one. This could include a short story you think they might appreciate hearing or simply noting something remarkable about the person.

How to Show Support

funeralIf you want to have a more serious conversation with the individual and show more support, you can take action after the burial services. The grieving family may be overwhelmed, so offer to help with their everyday needs. This could include dropping off a home-cooked meal, offering to take the kids to school, or picking up their laundry for them.

When you have a chance to sit down and talk, don’t fall into the trap of making it about you (sharing your own grief stories) or trying to lighten the situation (“It could be worse…”). Instead, offer to listen. Hug them when they need it, and listen when they want to talk about their feelings or about the deceased. When they are ready to talk about their loved one, you can sit and reminisce with them, which will help. Check in with them after other supporters have stopped, such as on anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays.


When a loved one of your own has passed away, the right funeral home will help you and your family members say goodbye. For more than 75 years, Porto Funeral Homes has been providing compassionate and personalized funeral services for New Haven County, CT. Learn more about how you can plan a funeral on their website. Call their East Haven location at (203) 467-3000 or their West Haven location at (203) 934-5000 to get started.

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