Grieving, while different for everyone, takes time. Committing a loved one to their final resting place is the first step toward closure. But after the cemetery, many mourners feel lost about what to do next. Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” We carry the weight of our loss everywhere—sometimes it can even feel like it’s crushing—but there are steps you can take to ease your friend’s burden. 

How to Show Support for a Friend in Mourning

1. Respect Their Privacy

When a friend is grieving, they will need privacy. Not everyone wants to share their emotions, so if your friend asks to be left alone, it’s important to respect that. Give them the space they need, and don’t share intimate details about the situation without your friend’s permission.

This also applies to social media. It’s best not to tag them in any posts honoring the lost loved one, as this can place unwanted attention on your friend, making them feel uncomfortable. This is especially true for the funeral itself. Even if you are doing so with the best intentions, don’t share photos from the cemetery or memorial service on social media.

2. Provide Tangible Help & Affection

Be there for your friend. This could be as simple as making them a meal, listening to them, or volunteering to visit the cemetery with them during the holidays. You won’t be able to resolve your friend’s sorrow, but you can help mitigate their sadness and provide an outlet. If you don’t hear from them for a few days, reach out—just a text message or phone call can remind them they’re not alone.

3. Acknowledge Your Friend’s Experiences

When you have someone close to you who recently lost a loved one, it can be tempting to downplay the situation to try to make them feel better. While good-intentioned, this can make your friend feel like their emotions are being dismissed. Instead, allow them to experience their grief fully; accept the situation and understand it might take considerable time before they recover emotionally. 

 

If you or a friend recently lost a loved one, contact the compassionate staff at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Rochester, NY. As one of the oldest Catholic cemeteries in Monroe County, Holy Sepulchre has spent decades cultivating a serene and beautiful resting place. They also provide many services to support the community during times of loss, including annual luminary services for Thanksgiving and Christmas; during a luminary ceremony, hundreds of people come together to light candles in memory of their loved ones and celebrate the holiday season. Holy Sepulchre Cemetery works hard to build a supportive community for people in the immediate aftermath of loss and the years that follow. They understand that reflecting on the past is an important part of paying tribute to loved ones and keeping their memory close. Visit Holy Sepulchre Cemetery online to learn more about the grounds and gardens, or call (585) 458-4110 to ask about their monthly mass.