If you've been asked to give a eulogy at a loved one's funeral, you may feel intimidated. It can be difficult to appropriately summarize their life and express your feelings of devotion and loss, even without the added nerves that often come with public speaking. Here are a few tips to make writing and delivering your eulogy a little easier.

Do: 

Have a theme.

Unlike obituaries, which try to give a brief overview of the life of the deceased, eulogies focus more closely on fond memories and the unique ways the deceased influenced you. Start by jotting down your thoughts and recollections. Then look for any patterns, like specific character traits, settings, or activities that you can explore further. 

Organize.

Once you have a page or two of ideas, choose three related stories or moments that fit under a common theme. Write your eulogy in five paragraphs: an introduction, one paragraph about each memory, and a conclusion. This format is simple and clear. You can deviate from it if you wish, but many people find it helps them stay on track and focused on a unified message. Reviewing samples of famous eulogies may also help you find a framework. 

Practice.

After you've written a draft of your eulogy, read it out loud. Speaking helps identify awkward wording, missing information, or repetition, so you can revise as needed. If feasible, practice in front of one or two friends or relatives to get feedback.

Don't: 

Focus on the negative. 

If you have a grievance with the deceased, a eulogy is generally not the place to air it. Funeral services are for the living, not the dead, and many attendees have come seeking comfort. If you feel you can't give a kind eulogy, it's better to decline the invitation than to say something upsetting.

Talk too long. 

When practicing, time yourself. The entire speech needn't take more than five minutes. Allow for pauses. Giving a eulogy is often a moving and emotional experience, and you may need to take a moment or two for yourself during delivery. 

Worry too much. 

You don't need to become a flawless orator overnight to deliver a meaningful and touching tribute to the deceased. Careful preparation will make the experience less stressful, but ultimately, what matters most is that your words are heartfelt.

If you're planning a funeral in the Stratford, CT, area, Adzima Funeral Home is there to help. They’ve served Fairfield County for over 100 years, encompassing four generations of compassionate and attentive funeral directors. Their staff is available 24 hours a day to help you through these difficult circumstances. To start the planning process, get in touch at (203) 375-2200 or online.