Care for senior loved ones can be full of challenges and questions about what is best for the whole family. Often, primary long-term care of a parent falls to the closest or oldest sibling, but sometimes there are differences of opinion about what is best for mom or dad. Minimize conflict and potential hard feelings with your siblings by following these tips on co-caring for senior loved ones.

4 Tip for Working With Your Siblings to Manage Parents’ Long-Term Care

1. Hold a Family Meeting

When it becomes clear a parent needs long-term care, hold a family meeting with all siblings and the other parent, if appropriate. Whether in person or via a video conference on the internet, all members should have a chance to air concerns and ideas. Often, the biggest areas of conflict within families are concerns about inheritance and feelings of unfairness or injustice about contributions. If you can, get any potential bad feelings out on the table, before they become irreconcilable differences.

2. Consult With Long-Term Care Professionals

Many service providers offer guidance to help families make decisions about long-term care. If one member of the family can be a designated information gatherer, they can then present the advice of professional providers to the family. Usually, several options may be available, from in-home care to complete nursing facilities. Professional senior services will help you understand the amount of care needed and assist the family in making informed decisions.

3. Be Realistic About Caregiving Responsibilities

Often, one sibling is responsible for an aging parent because of age, proximity, or cultural norms. However, it’s important for all siblings to realize that they will have to contribute, and that it may be “fair” to compensate the primary caregiver with either financial or other remuneration (this may come out of the inheritance). What each sibling can realistically give should be honestly and thoroughly examined at family meetings and resolved before choices are made. If family rifts already exist, it may be necessary to acknowledge that some siblings will not be able or willing to help.

4. Using Mediators

If sibling tensions are too strong to make family meetings productive, it may be time to hire a mediator or therapist who specializes in this area. A professional advisor can make sure everyone’s feelings are heard and that the needs of the senior parent are considered. 

A&T Certified Home Care in New City, NY, provides 24/7 in-home care to seniors and medical social work for families with aging loved ones. Their focus is on physical independence, and compassionate physical, psychological, and emotional assistance, allowing seniors to remain in their homes as long as possible. Services include physical and occupational therapy, speech therapy, and home health. Call (845) 708-8182 for more information or visit the website to learn more about their offerings.