Determining child custody can turn into one of the nastiest battles of a divorce, and it can last well beyond the separation proceedings. In some cases, a child can insist that they would prefer to live with their other parent rather than the court-designated custodial parent. While a family law attorney can guide a parent through both the initial custody battle and any follow-up legal contest of the court’s decisions, how much weight do a child’s wishes have in this conversation?

How a Child’s Choice Affects a Custody Battle

Laws about how a child’s opinion plays into custody varies by state. In Missouri, they won’t legally have a right to decide which parent they live with until they’re 18, but under state statutes, the wishes of a child are considered one of eight factors in the court’s decision. These provisions for child custody exist so that the family law court can determine if the child’s stated choice is what is best for them and if it’s the choice they actually want. 

The parent-child dynamic shifts after divorce, as a child needs to navigate a relationship with each parent separately for the first time. Sometimes a child will tell a parent they choose them for the sake of not offending mom or dad, or because they’re unsure of who they prefer as a custodial parent. In Missouri, the court also takes specific care to avoid parents who try to alienate their child from the other parent. From basic trash talking to gradual manipulation, this strategy only causes the child more stress, which is why the state is particularly sensitive to these instances. 

Another situation that often arises with teenagers is when a child wants one parent over another because they’re lax with discipline and will give them more freedom. These instances are tough to argue since it involves a lot of hearsay, but a family law attorney can reflect how each party’s parenting affects a child’s overall well-being through grades, disciplinary action at school, and performance in activities. 

In any case, the court will listen to what the kid has to say, but their choice only has true weight when they’re older—typically at least eight years old—and can build an actual argument for what they want. The goal of custody is to give a child the healthiest environment possible to flourish in academics, peer relations, and extracurricular activities while developing general consistency and normalcy in their life. Multiple perspectives can play into a court’s decision to assure that the custody arrangement has the child’s best interests in mind.

Factors That Substantiate a Child’s Wishes

Contextual Testimony

Testimony from family, teachers, and child care providers will give a personal yet third-party perspective from multiple angles of the child’s life. Other family members can attest to the apparent nature of the parent-child dynamic, teachers can elaborate on a student’s performance inside the classroom, and child care providers like nannies can offer context to each guardian’s parenting skills and how they affect the child.

Expert Assessment

A psychologist or psychiatrist can create a professional understanding of the interpersonal dynamic between the child and each of their parents. They can also uncover any potential signs of issues that the child doesn’t disclose or any tension between family members that isn’t initially apparent.

Legal Representation

A family law attorney will be a parent’s best line of defense in getting custody of their child. They will help structure a case to build the best argument for their client as a custodial parent. 

In Missouri, the state statutes’ eight points of contention in child custody require each parent to submit a comprehensive parenting plan to the court. When tasked with building this proposal, turn to the professionals at Kennedy, Kennedy, Robbins & Yarbro, LC, to create a strategy that helps the court see what living situation benefits your child the most. With 70 years of combined experience, this firm has guided residents of the Poplar Bluff, MO, area in family law cases to create bright futures for the children and parents involved. For more information about their full range of legal services, call them at (573) 686-2459 or visit their website.