As parents, sometimes it’s difficult to feel like you’re effectively communicating with your children. If it feels like you’re not getting through to your kids, child therapists can often help with suggestions. Here are just a few ways to encourage kids to open up.

How to Communicate With Children 

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions 

Adults have a tendency to ask children leading questions. Although this can prove helpful when trying to communicate with kids who have trouble expressing themselves, it can also inhibit you from learning what the child is really thinking or feeling. Instead of asking leading questions like, “Did the bully pick on you again at school today?” Ask “How was your day at school?” Most children will take cues from adults and are likely to tailor their answers based on the way questions are asked. 

2. Focus on Your Child’s Feelings 

Empathy can go a long way when interacting with children. Instead of considering your own thoughts and feelings about the conversation, focus on your child’s. Even if you disagree with what is being said, acknowledge his or her feelings. At the end of the day, feelings cannot be “wrong.” Your child may have done something wrong, but it’s still important to validate his or her feelings when discussing it.  

3. Turn to the Professionals 

Most of us can benefit from counseling, but talking to mental health experts is a must for those who appear to be struggling with a mood or behavior disorder. If your child is unable to control his or her actions or emotions, despite knowing the potential consequences of lashing out, it’s time to see a therapist. Your child will likely open up during one-on-one sessions, which will allow the provider to make a diagnosis and recommend potential treatment modalities. Scheduling joint sessions can also prove beneficial and will provide you with strategies and tools for getting through to your child. 

Although the above tips will help you foster a closer relationship with your children, they could still benefit from going to counseling. Sometimes children experiences emotions that they feel more comfortable discussing with a third party, rather than with their own parent or guardian.  If you are having difficulty communicating with your child about certain issues, call Fairbanks Psychiatric & Neurological Clinic APC to discuss setting up an appointment. For more than three decades, this practice has been meeting the mental health needs of both children and adults throughout Alaska. Sally Caldwell, LPC-S is now accepting Tricare®, making it easier for military families to take care of their mental health. To learn more about their psychiatry and counseling services, check out their website or call (907) 452-1739. 

Special thanks to Dr. Alisabeth Thurston Hicks for her contribution to this article.