One of the toughest parts of a divorce—besides taking that initial leap to meet with the divorce attorney—is sitting down to tell the kids what’s happening. The conversation is inevitably met with emotional, confused responses that are tough to navigate. But with a fair share of honesty, respect, and compassion, you can help your kids come to terms with this big change in a positive way. 

Important Tips for Telling Your Kids About Your Divorce

Don’t Overshare the Details

Out of respect for your kids and your ex-spouse, don’t discuss the details of your separation with your children. They don’t need to know the nitty-gritty of your crumbling relationship or exactly what prompted you to have a divorce attorney start the papers; they need to know what this situation means for their life. Keep the discussion regarding the divorce about them, detailing what changes are coming and how you will get through them together.  

Have a Cohesive Message With Your Ex

Your child needs security and assurance during this tumultuous time. Mixed messaging from either parent will confuse them and make this transition harder. Even though you and your ex are separating for whatever reasons, you should work together to send a defined message to them, presenting a united front about what the future holds. 

Don’t Talk Poorly About Your Ex

Keep your thoughts about your ex confined to your conversations with your divorce attorney. Talking trash about the other parent will only put your child in an uncomfortable position, subconsciously (or outwardly) asking them to side with you. It is unfair to throw that burden on them, and they will resent you for it down the road. Your ex will still be an important person in their lives, and planting a bad seed shows little consideration for your children’s well-being. 

Assure Them That It Isn’t Their Fault

Giving your kids a reason for the breakup is an important step. Driving home that this decision has nothing to do with them is a vital part of that conversation. Keep the response vague (“We grew apart”) but also develop an answer that satisfies the “why” of the situation with a reason they can live with.

Divorce is tough, but the legal proceedings don’t have to be with a good divorce attorney like the team at Lane, Felix & Raisbeck CO, LPA. This firm based Cincinnati, OH, has handled cases in the area for over 30 years, with Jeffery A. Felix at the helm of their divorce cases. When the time comes to draw up your divorce papers, call (513) 922-7700 or visit their website to schedule an initial consultation.