The journey of grieving a loved one is a long, hard road. While for some, saying goodbye at a memorial service can bring a sense of finality and closure, for others, they carry the pain of that loss with them. Everyone grieves differently, but regardless of how you cope, caring for your well-being should be at the top of your list going forward. 

Do:

Find ways to express your grief.

Finding a cathartic, healthy way of expressing your grief is essential to coping after the loss of a loved one. Some turn to art or writing to convey their sorrow as something tactile; others just need to take a swing at something, whether it’s at the batting cage or a demo site. Many also find solace in religion, which helps them make sense of their loss. Seek out activities that give you purpose and help you process your emotions. 

Lean on friends and family for support.

Sometimes self-care is letting other people in when you are struggling. While they may not completely understand how you feel, having someone to listen and be present for you will add much-needed support to move forward. Accepting this support may be tough, whether you’re avoiding the pain that assistance addresses or you’re afraid to be a burden, but let people help you when they offer. As isolating as losing someone feels, others close to you are probably feeling that same pain. The connection that mourning provides at memorial services and beyond is a powerful tool for working through that loss together. 

Give yourself time. 

Losing a loved one is a major life adjustment; it will take time to recognize and get used to this new norm. This period of mourning will not end at the memorial service and is not a linear journey; there will be moments that remind you of them and a string of firsts without them that will make some days more difficult than others. Be patient with yourself as you move forward and pause when you are having a hard time. 

Don’t:

Bottle up your feelings. 

Ignoring feelings that demand to be felt will leave you powerless in your grief. While the sadness and pain of bereavement can make you feel out of control, accepting these emotions are the path to working through them. Allow your sadness to make itself known, let it to be present so you can understand this change and eventually learn to cope when you feel ready.

Neglect your health. 

Grief can leave you lethargic, which is why it’s vital to get plenty of rest during this time. Staying in bed for too long, however, is not conducive to a healthy bereavement period. Eat healthy and work out in moderation, as numbing activities can be a dangerous coping mechanism. Things like alcohol, overeating, excessive exercise, and overworking all numb you from the pain, but they don’t move you in a direction of a productive life after loss. 

Make major life changes.

Loss tends to provoke serious personal reflection about who you are and what you want out of life now that a loved one is gone. Looking forward and setting goals for yourself is excellent self-care during this time, but avoid any life-altering changes until you’ve accepted this new normal. 

Someone in your life dying is in-and-of-itself a huge, difficult life change, and responding to it with a big move or a dramatic career change is often a coping mechanism blindly labeled as “moving forward.” If you’re serious about the new course you want to put yourself on, you will feel the same a year or two from now. At that point when you’re in a better headspace, you’ll either take the leap, or you’ll be thankful you didn’t follow through with it.

Losing a loved one will always be difficult experience, but planning a memorial service should never be a daunting one. Jacqueline M. Ryan Home for Funerals in Keansburg, NJ will assist with every step of the funeral planning process, from writing obituaries to planning memorial and burial specifics for families of any background. With their over 70 years of serving the Keansburg community, you can rest assured that your loved one will be honored in a touching way. To learn more about their offerings, visit them online or call (732) 787-1177 today.