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Sharing parenting responsibilities with an ex-spouse can be extremely difficult, even when the divorce was not especially acrimonious. Hurt feelings and lingering resentments can sometimes draw even the most well-intentioned parents into unnecessary family law disputes and arguments, which can make a stressful situation even worse. While you don’t necessarily have to become friends with your former spouse, there are some steps you can take to become more effective co-parenting partners.

3 Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Couples

1. Create a Parenting Plan

In most cases, a judge will issue a visitation schedule that sets out times for the non-custodial parent to visit with the children or, if the parents are sharing equal parenting time, a method for how to divide the time that the children spend with each parent.  These schedules tend to be very specific and often go so far as to divvy most holidays, birthdays, summer vacation times, and even Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.  However, most judges do not want to constrain families to specific visitation schedules if the parties can work together.  Quite the contrary, judges encourage parties to work together and will oftentimes include language in an order allowing the parties to arrange visitation as they can agree.  Our experience has been that the more parents can work together to create a customized visitation schedule that caters to their family’s needs, the better off everyone is, both the children and parents. Oftentimes, extensive negotiation and preparation in advance can help prevent arguments before they begin.

2. Avoid Negative Comments

family lawWhen disagreements do arise, avoid making negative comments about your ex-spouse in front of your children. While you may no longer want a relationship with the other parent, your children will, and blaming them for problems or making negative remarks will make the kids feel uncomfortable and insecure.  In addition to being emotionally harmful to children, this kind of behavior is strongly disfavored by courts, who have the discretion to punish parents for engaging in parental alienation.

3. Maintain a Regular Schedule

Having the same bedtime, mealtime, and homework schedule at both homes will give your children a feeling of security and help them adapt to their new living arrangements. Establishing and maintaining a regular schedule may be difficult at first, especially if you and your spouse have different lifestyles, but creating a consistent environment for your children will be worth the adjustment.


 

The family law professionals at J. P. Coleman Law, LLC have extensive experience helping parents throughout the Baldwin County, AL area find solutions to even the most difficult child custody issues. They pride themselves on making you feel as though yours is the only case that matters. Visit their website for an overview of their family law services, follow their Twitter for more tips and news, and call (251) 947-6247 to schedule your free initial legal consultation today.

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