As difficult and complex as a divorce is for you and your spouse, it is just as hard for your children. This is a major change that will affect many aspects of their lives, and it's essential to talk to them about it and help them understand. But what that looks like in practice will depend on your child's age.

5 & Under

At this age, your child has very little understanding of their own emotions or the ability to talk about them. Cause-and-effect is also outside your child's understanding, so the reasons for the divorce aren't likely to help. Instead, keep your explanation focused on the concrete ways this will affect your child—for example, who will live where and how often your child will see each parent. Listen to your child's questions and give simple answers. This is likely to be a process rather than a single discussion.

6 to 11

During this period of your child's life, they are developing the capacity to understand and talk about feelings, but this doesn't necessarily mean they'll want to. Be available to talk to your child, but don't demand answers from them. Instead, leave openings by talking about what other children sometimes feel in this situation. Books about divorce can also help at this age.

12 & Up

Once again, it's important to be available even if your child pushes you away. Focus on maintaining a connection with your child by talking with them about things that interest them. Open communication makes it more likely your child will open up about their feelings and less likely you'll miss the signs of a problem.

All Ages

No matter your child's age, it's important to continue demonstrating love and support during a divorce. They will need attention, affection, and good parenting more than ever. You should also do your best to insulate your children from conflict—don't fight in front of them or speak badly about your spouse.

The process of divorce is difficult for all involved, but with care and patience, you can make it less difficult for your child. Consider their age and keep lines of communication open, and you can strengthen your relationship.

Vernau Law LLC is a full-service family law firm in Granville, OH. Their extensive experience in their practice area can help you through a divorce, child custody disagreements, prenuptial arrangements, and estate planning. Call them today at (740) 587-2637 to arrange a consultation, and visit them online.