Divorcing parents can be disrupting to a child's life, but what if the the divorce takes place after the children are grown up? Many couples wait to divorce until after their children are adults, eliminating child custody battles, requiring less time with divorce lawyers, and theoretically making the process easier on the children. However, divorce can still change your relationship with your grown children. The Law Office and Mediation Center of Jeannine M. Talbot in Torrington, CT, has seen many families divided by divorce, and mediator attorney she’s here to offer a few tips.

First, be prepared. No matter how far away your children live or how well they're doing in their own lives, the news that their parents are talking to a divorce lawyer will affect them. Parents and the memory of a childhood home provide a sense of stability which is now suddenly being removed, as your adult child questions their childhood and their perception of your marriage. This sense of disruption and unease is difficult to work through and may lead to blame, anger, or distancing behavior. 

However, you can help heal and strengthen the relationship by respecting your child's feelings and needs during this time. Don't pressure them to provide forgiveness, happiness, or support before they're ready. Give them space to process the news. Provide what comfort you can. Keep them informed and listen to their input, but don't lean on them emotionally; instead, look for support from friends or other relatives.

Finally, avoid the temptation to criticize your spouse to your children. They are still your child's beloved parent, and anything that can be perceived as an attack on that relationship is likely to backfire. Save your complaints for your other supporters; with your child, focus on building up your relationship instead of tearing down your spouse's.

With all the difficulties you face during a divorce at any age, the help of a divorce lawyer may be the best way to relieve stress and shift some of the burden. Call Attorney Jeannine at (860) 482-9004 to arrange a consultation.