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Every parent wants to shield their children from the unpleasant realities of life for as long as possible. Sadly, loss is a fact of life, and, while it can be challenging, speaking with your children in a straightforward and age-appropriate way can give you and your child the chance to process your loss together. If you’re attending a memorial service and are at a loss for how to start the conversation, here are three tips from the funeral planning professionals at Fossum Funeral Home of Onalaska, WI. 

3 Tips for Explaining Loss to Kids Before a Memorial Service 

Admit to Not Having All the Answers 

memorial serviceChildren start asking questions around age 3 and often continue right through the teen years. As you sit down to talk with your child about loss, be prepared to be asked questions you might not have the answers to. Rather than inventing an answer or glossing over the question, admit that you don’t know and talk through the question with your child. If it’s a more theoretical question, ask them what they think and why. Explain what you think might be true. Allow them to draw whatever conclusion about the big “why” questions on their own—with your support. 

Meet Them Where They Are Developmentally 

The key to successfully discussing loss with your child is understanding where they are in their social development and tailoring the conversation to meet that level. Preschoolers tend to view death as a reversible state and often need to be reminded that this won’t change next week. Between the ages of 5 and 9, however, children start to understand the permanence of death but lack an understanding that this can happen to them. At about 10, kids start to understand the basics and begin to search for what they believe about afterlife questions. Based on where your child is developmentally, address the likely concerns and help them in their own exploration for peace. 

Be Brief & Keep It Simple 

The biggest mistake parents make before attending a burial service is overtalking the matter. Kids, especially young children, work best with brevity and straightforward information. Rather than launching into a long explanation about life and death and funeral arrangements, keep it simple. Stick to the basics and focus on the fact that you are there to walk them through this new experience. 

If you’re in the greater Onalaska, WI, area and looking for a compassionate funeral home to assist with a memorial service for your loved one, call Fossum Funeral Home today at (608) 783-9777. Visit their website to learn more about their services. 

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